Life at Taconic

The months are flying by. Nine months ago, I came back from Kenya to be bludgeoned by a mythic February snow storm. That is enough time to create a child. I have created no children in these last months, but I've been busy none-the-less. Professionally I started working at a flower shop (which was AWESOME but fizzled out after Mother's Day), I spent a couple months scrubbing decks in Westchester County (which was MEDIOCRE but it paid well), in the summer I worked part time at Taconic Retreat Center (TRCC) (which was HILARIOUS, as I learned I am indistinguishable from an 18 year old). Since September I have picked up more responsibility at Taconic; now I work and live on the property full time.

The work here is a good fit for me, I feel utilized and challenged. We have long term goals, short term complications and daily rewards in the work we do at TRCC. Every week I make a schedule for crews of teenagers to come and host groups at the camp...we scrub pots, serve food, clean bathrooms, sweep floors...the list goes on and on. On top of that, we try to learn to be better servants and workers by learning from the Bible and the big JC himself. Actually that last part isn't really happening yet, but I invest most of my time (along with some of my lovely co-workers) towards making the CREW program a real spirit filled discipleship experience.

One unfortunate thing is the fact that I work every weekend...but really, it's not bad. This weekend we have a group of 120 Spanish ladies, and 20 Indian men having retreats at the same time. These ladies are incredibly energetic and awesome. I went out of my office and saw 20 ladies streaming past (on the way back from the bathroom, that by no means can handle 20 users at once) wearing sparkly princess crowns, going back into their service where the other hundred women are dancing around in a mosh pit singing "Ole, ole ole ole! Jesús, Jesús!" Needless to say, the poor Indian men have spent the weekend cowering under the load of this excessive energy.

With some of the fellas on CREW I played 2 hugely epic games of Monopoly. I won them both (due to "luck"... ... ;) ) Also there is always someone to play Settlers of Catan with at camp, I have stayed up far far too late with Todd and Janelle Hoffman (One more game!)...I think we have developed something like an addiction...naaaah no way! (This is denial.)

Life at Taconic is definitely unique, and I am totally digging it. I have found myself yet again in the tension of loving the life that I am living while waiting with great anticipation for what is to come (marrying Allison, being a real electrical engineer, having a church again...) Some might disagree, but this tension is wonderful; life is good, and it is only getting better.

More than Catechism

More than Catechism


Every Catholic kid I knew hated catechism, today known as CCD. They envied me that I didn’t have to go after school twice a week. As it turns out; catechism is a good thing. It is good to know the facts about our faith. It is good to have a solid foundation.

A solid faith, however, is more than just figuring things out. Faith is much deeper than merely knowing/believing that which is factual. We can be theologically correct, philosophically astute, logically sound and also fearful and overwhelmed. There times when life is so ruthless that reciting a memorized catechism or glibly reading a string of promises leaves us still weak, lost and fearful. There is more to faith than a theological/teleological understanding that God cares for us and is at work for us. Faith becomes truly real only in a deeply intimate relationship with a personal God. A relationship that grows ever deeper and stronger in the storms of life.

John Wesley was a deeply earnest, well nigh unto obsessive, Anglican priest. His deepest desire was to be holy and obey God. As a young priest he made his way across the Atlantic Ocean to Georgia as a missionary to the Indians. Even as he sailed across the sea, he was preaching, teaching, praying and administering the sacraments to those on board. Every moment was devoted to seeking and serving God. He speaks of his daily schedule:

“We now began to be a little (are you kidding me?) regular. Our common way of living was this: - from four to five in the morning, each of us used private prayer. From five to seven we read the Bible together … at seven we breakfasted. At eight we were the public prayers. From nine to twelve I usually learned German … At twelve we met to give an account of one another what we had done since our last meeting and what we designed to do before our next …”

It goes on like that; lunch at one, 2pm reading to the passengers, 4pm evening prayers, 5pm private prayer, 6pm more reading with some passengers, 7pm German service, 8pm another meeting to check up on one another, 9-10pm sleep. And this was on a cruise ship! This guy really had faith i.e. he really believed God.

But it wasn’t long before the storm blew in and that obsessive compulsive religious cruise ship began to rock and roll! Wesley describes waves that … “rose to the heavens above and clave to hell beneath.” He was overwhelmed with fear and was … “ashamed of my unwillingness to die.” Asking himself, “How is it that thou art unwilling to die?” At the same time he observed the German Christians calmly singing a psalm through to entire storm.

Clearly, knowing and believing the right stuff was not enough when the storm threatened to turn his ship upside down. He confessed:

“I have a fair summer religion. I can talk well; nay and believe myself, while no danger is near: But let death look me in the face and my spirit is troubled.”

Without a warm, genuine, intimate, life changing relationship with God, Wesley was unable to face the storms of life that broke in upon him.

In his search for God Wesley speaks of going “very unwillingly” to a society on Alsdersgate Street where at about quarter to nine he felt his “heart strangely warmed.” He continues, “I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone for salvation: and an assurance was given me that he had taken away my sins, even mine and saved me from the law of sin and death.”

It is vital to have a clear assurance of the unshakeable, immoveable foundations stones of faith. No matter what our feelings, whatever the situation, nothing will change that: God is (a reality) … God is love (in nature) … and God is at work (through grace). But while a solid faith foundation is vital; a genuine, warm, personal relationship with God through his one and only Son is indispensible. Living our faith is less about what we believe and more about our relationship with God and how we respond to him in obedience..

Our faith in God is more than a tool needed to smooth out the bumps of life. It is by faith we come to know God. God is a God of revelation who wants to make himself known. In the harmony of nature, we see the nature of God. In Jesus Christ we see God seeking to restore a relationship with us as his children. In the beginning we see God walking and talking with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The whole revelation of scripture is the account of God’s pursuing and pleading that we (as his creation) would return to an intimate relationship with Him. The innate longing of our heart, is the voice of God within, calling us to come to him as his children. He is seeking to live in union with us in the joy, pain, triumphs, and defeats of life.

Now it gets pointedly personal. Is your heart strangely warmed by the presence of God? I sort of believe in altar calls. Sort of … because I have seen preachers in my formative years harangue and manipulate guilt ridden Christians to walk to the front of the church as a validation of their oratory prowess. I believe in altar calls because; when God speaks it is good to respond.

The warmth of a genuine personal relationship with a benevolent God is your deepest need. A cold clinical faith system will not bring the strength and courage you need in the cataclysms of life. A sweet loving Jesus is adequate to get you by when they snicker at your born again profession. But when the storms really start to rattle and roll your ship on the sea of life; you will need the very presence of the all mighty God of the universe. The good news of the gospel is that: God was in Christ reconciling the world unto him”. In the crises of life – live your faith – stay close to God. He truly does love you and in him you live and move and have your being. As the catechism says: “The chief end of man is love God and enjoy him forever”.

The Psycho Snow of 2010

As of February 17th I am officially HOME. I have been here for almost 2 weeks and it has been wonderful seeing all my family, friends and loved ones. I can't even start to describe all the great things I've been enjoying about coming home...though I can give some highlights:

• Surprising my poor sister: Christina thought I was coming home on Feb. 24th, so I hid behind a tree and threw a snowball at her on the campus of ENC. She was really happy to see me, which was just what I needed after a 24 hour journey from Kenya.
• Swing dancing with my Allison: We found a public dance with a great band in Boston - it was great getting back into the "swing" of things with Allie. Also, taking her out for a nice dinner in her home town was wonderful as well.
• Walking through Narnia with my Mom: we had so much snow in our back yard, we arrived from the back and Mom was convinced it was not in fact our yard...she was wrong but I don't blame her things looked so different it was surreal.
• Eating my Dad's food: mushroom chicken marsala with special Emeril seasoning was crazy good, and even Cambell's tomato soup was especially good. Funny, eh?
• Watching my niece play with my djembe...great enough to warrant a picture, in my humble opinion :-D
  
  
  
  

Well, the biggest news since we've come back has been the incredible snow storm that hit Fishkill this last week. On Saturday we had 30 inches in our yard. Thursday I spent the day shoveling 2 inches of snow off the driveway every hour, but a huge amount of snow hit us in the evening, so on Friday my mother and I spent the whole day shoveling. It was hard, back breaking work - it really made me miss the tropical climate of Kenya, for sure. Our yard looks like a hurricane went through, trees are just decimated, in particular our poor magnolia tree out front. My Mom is really sad about that, but it's nature! Brutal, hardened New England nature, but nature none-the-less.

Now, I'm looking for work. I'm hoping to get a job in New York so I can get involved with my home church again, hangout with my parents and some old friends who I haven't had any real contact with for a few years. A lot happens in a few years, so I really can't wait to reconnect with all my friends. I'm working on putting together a presentation so that I can spread the story of many of the inspiration folks I've met in Kenya. Also, I want to write up a story for the online missions magazine Engage, (I haven't forgot about that, Amy :) ) but I am still struggling as to what, or how, to write about my time in Kenya.

I miss friends and neighbors at ANU quite so much, I think of them often. It is very strange, it's almost like there is another world in Kenya that is still going on, but without me. It really makes me think about our world...so many people doing good things, bad things, just doing life all over the world. I wish I could go and connect with people in every continent and country. It was so humbling and valuable to be a part of the life of the people in Kenya. Now there is not only another world in Africa, but it has become a part of my world. I'm grateful to have my world broadened, and even more thankful to have a chance to spread God's love around the communities I was involved with. Of course, when you spread love around it only leaves you with more people to miss, but it's worth it, it is definitely worth it.

Kenya Update 1/18/10 - Borrowed Time

It seems like 2010 is not the year for writing in this blog. It's definitely not for lack of activity, as I've been here and there and everywhere for the last couple weeks. My time is running very short in Kenya, I will be home soon! It is very surreal, being so close to coming home. I have really grown to love the people here, my little community at ANU, and Kenya in general. Consequently, it has been an emotional roller coaster, every 8 hours or so I swing from being so excited to come home and see everyone I love and miss so much, to being extremely sad to be leaving this place that I've grown to love and will miss so much. Once again, it seems the best things in my life are always bitter sweet.

Last week on Thursday one of the more significant role models and mentors in my life died of cancer. John Williams was an incredible man who was in love with Jesus Christ. This love inspired every word and act of his life. His love of Christ and consequential love of everything transformed everyone he came in contact with. Near the end of his life he became increasingly positive and shared more and more love with everyone around him. John's faith was unshakable. He was absolutely and unequivocally convinced that everything he did, and everything that happened to him would bring about God's will. John finished his life epitomizing what it means to be a Christian - finding increasing measures of joy in the face of sorrow and suffering, finding a real vision for God's plan not only through his life but through his death and beyond. It takes real faith to look in the face of death and smile. How I long for that faith! How I long for that vision! John's life has helped me see that it is possible.

Like I said earlier...some of the best things in life are bitter sweet. Life is a peculiar dichotomy between sadness and joy. One of the many things I learned from John is that when you are following Christ, there is nothing in life, whether it is cause for mourning or celebration (or both!), that is without hope.

I have quite a few goals for the next just-over-a-month, I will definitely be busy. Yet, I will need prayer to find the wisdom to identify the most important needs I can meet, and realize the discipline to work hard and leave this place better than how I left it.

In other news, I went to Mombasa! I explored around with Dr. Mark Pitts' son Ben and my friend Graham. Check out my Picasa albums for all the bloody (not really) details. I am quite sun burned, but happily so having experienced a true tropical paradise. Also, I retrieved my pictures from my trip to Luo-land in December. Included is a link to that album on Picasa!

Christmas in Kenya

Mombasa, baby!

Kenya Update 1/4/10 - "Happy New Year!" or "Wild Animals and Birthday Cheese"

I have been having a great time as 2009 departs and as I grow accustomed to 2010. From this point on, we will be able to say it is "two thousand and ten" or "twenty ten". This will not change for 90 years, we will always have 2 ways to describe the date. My friend Jessica made a comment about the relativity of time that still has me thinking. At this point in my life, 1 year represents 1/23 of my life. When I was young (say, 4 years old), 1 year represented 1/4 of my life. Thus, the years are getting shorter and shorter.

Anyway - I have seen some animals and spent some time with good people the last few days of 2009 and these first few days of 2010. On New Years Eve we got together with the Pitts family, Riao Yi and his wife, the Dibos and myself to go to the Giraffe Center in Karen. We were able to feed the giraffes, pet them and kiss them which looks much more gross than it is, don't worry! After the giraffe center we hustled over to the Nairobi National Park to see the baby elephants at the elephant orphanage. They were cute and dirty, and the sun was hot!

The rest of New Years Eve was very fun as well, we had dinner at the Pitts and lit off ghetto firecrackers and had a silly dance party in the driveway under a nearly full moon. It was super fun! Also, Charles spent the night in my flat, which is always a good time, though we went to be early (big plans for New Years Day...)

On New Years Day, we piled into the Pitts car at 5:30 am to go to Amboseli National Park down close to Tanzania and Mount Kilimanjaro. It was such a cool trip, we saw so many animals: buffalos, flamingos, hippos, monkeys, baboons, and of course elephants!!! I got some great pictures, and it was a LONG day. So long in fact, that we spent the night at the field office (we didn't get back till 10:30 pm)

The following day (Saturday) we went out for breakfast and spontaneously decided to go to the theater to see Avatar. I'm SO glad we did that, the movie was fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. It satisfied me entirely, it had everything I like in movies and pushed all my buttons for awesomeness. After the movie I took it easy and prepped for the coming week. This week, new students are moving in, and returning students are moving in on Wednesday.

On Sunday the Crawfords took me out for lunch for my "birthday". It was great, they also gave me some cheese that has been passed around, which I am very excited about. I miss cheese.

These are links to pictures I posted on Picasa from the Giraffe Center, Elephant Orphanage, and our trip to Amboseli. Enjoy!

Giraffes and Baby Elephants!

Amboseli National Game Park

Kenya Update 12/30/09 - Kenyan Christmas!

I am home from a 12 day journey "up country". I traveled about 800 kilometers north (past the equator! :) ) to spend time with the families of friends I have made in the last 4 months. My first destination was to the home of a pastor-in-training named Peter Nyonje. He's an older fellow, whose first born son is heading to ANU to student science in January. It was great being in their home. They live in a sugar plantation that is maintained by the family (immediate and extended) - I learned that while my teeth are stronger than most in the US, they don't hold snuff up to Peter's sons who have grown up peeling sugar cane with their teeth. I tried it...it felt like I was chewing on a piece of wood. One example of how I had to return to the state of foreigner hyper-dependency for the first few days I was there. Peter's home was beautiful - on a hill over looking the river bordering the Nyanza providence and the Rift Valley Providence. Panoramic views of the Kenyan countryside accompanied everything we did. It was a relaxing time as they did not allow me to do anything as far as work. At length I managed to coerce the family to let me help with some planting, and taking me some places...they were surprised at how far I could walk (it wasn't that far...)

I spent my birthday with Peter's family, they all gathered and we ate, his daughters and nieces sang for me (which sounded very good! crazy.) and he gave me a sweet pot from a potter who lives a km or so from his village. It's a sweet pot, versatile and good looking! It was so great spending time with him and his family. Some of them did not know English or Swahili...so it was interesting trying to communicate, though I did pick up some of their tribal language (They are Luo...I mainly learned thank you, good morning, how are you, I'm fine, and grandma! :) )

On the 22nd I met up with Charles' family. It was a great time - they are all grown, functional people who live in and around Nairobi. We all piled into a bright blue 14 passenger van and traveled another 3 hours or so North to his parents home. It was with the Okinyo family (they call themselves OFA...awesome.) that I spent my Christmas in Kenya. It was a great time, plenty of straight up hanging out, eating washing dishes (they actually let me help, God bless them) and playing games. On Christmas morning we slaughtered a ram to roast (nyama choma!) for the big Christmas meal. We didn't exchange gifts till boxing day, and it was a white elephant style deal. I was left with some funny little toy that is small and peculiar.

Oh a sad note: I took about 550 pictures and videos (3.4 gb). On Christmas day I accidentally formatted my memory card, deleting everything. Very heart breaking business...they were some special pictures. Luckily, after a few hours and days I don't feel that sinking disappointment anymore. I gave my card to a friend of Charles' brother Japheth who works for a data recovery company. I hope they can get the pictures back, but my expectations are not high. Pray that Timothy's computers are smart enough to recover the lost data!

It's nice to be "home" in Nairobi, able to communicate with my family again and sleep in my bed. It was a wonderful trip - something I'll remember forever and something I wish I could have shared with everyone I love. Thanks for your prayers. As far as I can tell I made it off the trip healthy enough, so I have so much to be thankful for. It's surreal to think of there only being 2 months left (2/3! I think in ratios.) ... I hope that God uses me in exciting ways during these last 2 months in Kenya.

Kenya Update 12/14/09 - Jamburi Days

Happy Birthday-week Ardreys! Friday was my Dad's birthday, tomorrow is my sisters birthday, and Saturday is MY birthday! Wahoo. I gave Dad a call during his birthday dinner which required me to get up at 3 am in the morning...I had some halfway coherent conversations with some friends sitting remotely in my living room...but it was 3 am, so I take no real responsibility for what I said!

This weekend was Jamburi Day in Kenya - Kenyan Independence day, if you will. It's pretty sweet end of the semester, especially for the students...Friday was the last day of classes, and Saturday was a public holiday. Speaking of Saturday, the Nairobi Chamber Chorus (who I have the GOOD fortune of singing with) was invited to sing at the National celebration at the Nairobi State House - where the President of Kenya lives. It was a big ol' jamboree in the front yard of the State House, there were about 12 (maybe?) performing groups to provide entertainment for Mr. Kibaki (the president) and a bunch of dignitary hoo-ha's. We were one of those groups. It was a lovely day, and I expected to get home late afternoon and do some stuff before dinner. Well, the event was scheduled for 2 pm, but Mr. Kibaki did not show up until about 4:45, so the program didn't really get moving until 5.

The singing and dancing was all very fun though - I wish they allowed me to take pictures! They were checking cameras at the edge of the State House property. Very sad because there were some awesome traditional performers that would've made some wonderful pictures...not to mention the President. Oh well. Its the closest I've ever been to a political "big wig" so it was pretty fun.

SUNDAY we had a performance as well. I went to church in the morning then hopped down to Nairobi to meet up with the choir. After some scrambling to photocopy music, we all piled into a matatu and went to the British High Chancellors house. I actually know nothing about what the British High Chancellor does, but the event was a fund raiser for um... something. Anyway, we had a good time, it was a long concert where we sang most of our repertoire, including a good chunk of Christmas carols. Highlight of the day for me (despite their lovely home and mince pies they gave us...so. delicious.) was our accompanist (accompianist? :) ) A Chinese woman whose name I forget (so you won't have to butcher it) had her "Doctor of Musical Arts", basically the PhD of piano performance. She was incredible! I wish she played more pieces, but alas.


After the concert I spent the night at Emmanuel Ashene's place. It was quite fun, we watched a movie, ate some githeri and eggs...then we fell asleep to the addicting goodness of 24. So good - though I'm glad I don't have the DVDs, I would have no soul.


Today, I hope to touch base with my Norwegian friend at St. Paul's orphanage to hopefully make some progress on their website (it all depends on whether I can find some air time...), finish my laundry and juggle other details and responsibilities.

On Wednesday morning (early!) I'll be going up country for a bit less than 2 weeks. This will be quite fun, I am looking forward to it, but it means I need to finish some stuff up on campus promptly! Pray for me for the wisdom/discipline to finish things on time and not forget anything!